Befriending Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic, the voice inside your head always ready to point out flaws and mistakes, so harsh and unforgiving. Below are are five ways to help you befriend your inner critic for a more loving relationship with yourself.

1. Understand Its Origins

 The first step to befriending your inner critic is to understand where it comes from. Often, this voice is shaped by your past experiences, by critical figures in your life, such as parents, teachers, or peers. By recognising that your inner critic is a result of you internalising these experiences, you can start to see that your inner critic is not a true representation of your worth.

It might be useful to use journaling to reflect about past experiences that may have contributed to its development.

2. Become Aware of Your Core Beliefs

As humans, we share a lot of core beliefs, such as ‘murder is bad’, ‘violence is harmful’ ect. But start to think about what you believe to be true about yourself, because this will be closely connected to how you respond to yourself when you are vulnerable or make what you deem to be mistakes.

Have a read through the following statements below and see if you agree with them or not. Try journaling about why these statements are true or false in your world.

I am loved and cared for

I can solve problems when they arise

I can forgive myself if I fail

I do not need the approval of others

People only think about themselves

I am valued by my family

I expect the worst in others

I am ugly

I can’t take risks

I feel confident to take risks

I cannot be alone

I avoid challenges, because I always fail

3. Practice Self-Compassion

When your inner critic speaks up, respond with kindness and understanding. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same care and concern you would offer to a loved one.

When you catch yourself being self-critical, ask yourself what you would say to a friend in this situation. Self-soothing phrases like “I am doing the best I can,” or “It’s okay to make mistakes as they are a part of learning’, can be a great way to quiet the inner critic.  

4. Challenge the ‘Facts’.

Your inner critic often operates on distorted thinking patterns, such as black and white thinking, catastrophizing, or overgeneralization. Challenge this by examining the evidence behind your thoughts, looking for a more balanced perspective.

 5. Meditate

Meditation is a powerful tool for enhancing mental and physical well-being. By incorporating regular meditation practice into your life, you can reduce stress, improve emotional health, increase self-awareness, boost concentration, enhance sleep quality, support physical health, and cultivate a mindful lifestyle.

Remember, befriending your inner critic is not about silencing it completely, but about learning to interact with it in a way that supports your well-being.